My name is Dr. Jeffrey Fox, and I am a tenured Professor of Mathematics at CU Boulder. Like millions of people, I have suffered from depression and PTSD most of my life. I have sampled the smorgasbord of medications, often going back for seconds. I have been treated by therapists all over the United States, and each one has provided me with useful tools and insights to help manage my depression. PTSD has a been harder – the only techniques I’ve learned so far were 1) avoid the triggers and 2) hope for the best. These techniques were all I had until now, and they have not been very successful.
Then last year I discovered Ketamine Infusion Therapy, and it has been a game changer.
Dr Wade Grindle and Sarah Grindle are the founders of Boulder Mind Care, the first Ketamine Infusion Therapy clinic in Boulder. They have literally given me my life back. The Grindles are truly exceptional, caring, kind, and compassionate people. From the first moment I spoke with Sarah, I felt a renewed hope, because she really listened to my story. It was the first time in a LONG time that I felt like someone (other than my exceptional therapist) cared enough to truly listen to me.
I have had rare periods of remission from depression. More often, I’ve only been able to get to what I call “good enough”. “Good enough” is where I survive my day, doing what I have to do, and at the end of the day breathing a sigh of relief that I got through it, knowing tomorrow will be the same. “Good enough” is the state that many people like me strive for; “good enough” is what we settle for. The fantasy of sustained remission long ago fled my mind.
The trouble with “good enough” is, it’s not. Not only is “good enough” not good enough, in actuality, it is horrible. “Good enough” steals one’s life, one’s very humanity. The very things that make us human are just stamped down, if not completely erased. In the “good enough” state I become more like a robot than a human being.
Last year, I started to hear about ketamine, and how it was being used successfully to treat depression, PTSD, and chronic pain. One of the practical barriers I had in doing ketamine therapy was accessibility. I cannot drive after an infusion, so I had to have some way of getting from one of the Denver clinics back home. I’m single, with family far away, and I did not want to impose on my friends. Then I discovered that there was a Ketamine Infusion clinic in downtown Boulder (on Broadway between Pearl and Spruce), called Boulder Mind Care. The accessibility problem for me was now solved – getting from my house to the clinic is a 15 minute bus ride there and a 15 minute bus ride home. This was the final barrier I had to get over to try the therapy.
After that first conversation with Sarah Grindle, I sent them my history with their quick and easy online form. Dr. Grindle spoke with my therapist & reviewed my medical history, and I was able to quickly get in for my first appointment. The Grindles, as well as their nurse Stacie, are very compassionate, caring people, and I knew I was in good hands from the start.
After my initial consultation with Dr Grindle, I had my first ketamine infusion, and I had a dramatic improvement in my depression and anxiety. Later, at Dr Grindle’s recommendation, I tried “Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy” wherein I did therapy with my therapist while receiving ketamine at the same time. Ketamine by itself was incredible; ketamine and therapy simultaneously was miraculous. The ketamine enabled my therapist to walk with me through and process traumatic memories; in a way that was not painful or difficult. As a result, I had my most productive sessions ever!
My experience has been more than good, it has been unbelievable. While I have an exceptionally gifted therapist, since I started my ketamine infusions I’ve had more progress in dealing with PTSD in one year than I have in my entire life.
The ketamine therapy has not caused the depression symptoms to go into remission forever. Stress has always been one of the triggers for my depression. I still have stress in my life, but now, the ketamine therapy has given me resilience. My reaction to stress has changed; and that is everything. This is what I mean by resilience.
I am so grateful to Boulder Mind Care. The Grindles have been incredibly supportive, and have helped make this journey so much easier. I have no doubt they are supportive of everyone that they treat at that clinic. I can only feel grateful that they decided to open a clinic in Boulder that was readily accessible for me. Because of Boulder Mind Care, I have changed so much. I now have an effective tool for overcoming my depression and PTSD. I am so encouraged that I now have hope, and enthusiastic that I am finally moving on from “Good Enough” to “I Love My Life”!
This is my story, you will have to find your own.
Dr. Jeffrey S. Fox
Boulder, Colorado July 2019
(Identifying details redacted:)
August 12, 2009
Sarah and Dr. Grindle,
It’s so hard to find the words to express our gratitude for the amazing care that you have given our son. His depression and anxiety has been so hard on us as a family the last few years. We struggled watching him go into this dark place. He distanced himself from everyone and gave up activities that he loved.
As parents, you just want to find professional help for fear that something horrible might happen. Our son had a very kind psychiatrist and worked with us as a family to try and find solutions and hope. Antidepressants didn’t work and he just sank deeper into his own world.
When we read an article about Ketamine treatment, we were nervous and skeptical. Honestly, it was so far outside of the box for us, but we kept reading discussed it as a family and supported him in his decision to try Ketamine in hopes of helping him get his life back.
We knew we wanted an anesthesiologist to administer the treatments and fortunately for us, we discovered Boulder Mind Care. Honestly, your practice was not what we expected. It is much more intimate than we could have imagined. I feel like you know our son so well and you took the time to make us feel comfortable, knowing that we were traveling from out of state. Your total picture approach is amazing. He has learned things from his blood work that you requested, that we had no idea about…looking back, no one has ever looked at him as more than just a young man with depression. Thinking that an antidepressant can just “fix” someone without exploring other contributing factors like XXXX is mind blowing. Yet, you are the first practice we’ve ever been to that brought it up during his 1st visit.
We were so nervous. He is our 1st born and is the light of our lives. He has so much to offer the world, but for so long now, he’s been withdrawn and we longed for the kid we once knew.
After 6 treatments, we can see something changing. Little things like normal conversations that include laughter. He got his hair cut, which sounds silly, but the anxiety over going to the barber has diminished. He has a desire to cook again. He has started to take an interest in exercising again. He’s not afraid to get back out into the world. Simply put, he has hope.
We know that our son has a long journey ahead of him, but we know he’s in great hands with you. We could go on and on, but we wanted to make sure you know what a difference you’ve made in all our lives. We are so grateful.